


Mile High Club

by transdennisreynolds



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, brief scene with the rest of the gang, essentially just pwp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5946769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdennisreynolds/pseuds/transdennisreynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Alternate scene in The Gang Beats Boggs) Mac helps Dennis achieve the status of a Mile High Club member.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mile High Club

**Author's Note:**

> note: dialogue starts right after the Plains Trash Chick does a line of prescription pills in the galley/cargo compartment

DENNIS:  Okay, so this is happening. [lifts his hands in front of his chest, palms facing out and eyes closed] Y’know what? Forget this. I can’t do this. Go back to your seat, ‘cause there’s no way I’m banging you, lady.

WOMAN:  [stands up and wipes her nose on the back of her arm] Are you sure? I could suck you off; you don’t have to fuck me—

DENNIS:  [heavy sarcasm] Oh, thanks for the offer, but I’m sure.

[The unnamed WOMAN finishes her line and leaves with a huff, craning her neck as she climbs the ladder to see if DENNIS’d changed his mind. He shoos her with his hand dismissively and sighs in relief with his hands on his hips when she’s out of sight.

By now, MAC’s leg has fallen asleep and despite not wanting to risk being found, moves to stretch it carefully and accidentally knocks over a pile of luggage to his side. He hisses _“shit”_ at the incredible amount of noise it causes and doesn’t notice DENNIS walk up to him as he tries (almost comically) to catch some of the suitcases, failing miserably and nearly breaking his arm.]

DENNIS:  What the hell are you doing down here?

MAC:  [standing up quickly and shaking his leg to wake it up] I, uh . . . I was getting a few of the beers I brought in case of an emergency ‘cause that uptight flight attendant cut us off.

DENNIS:  Oh fuck, really? That's a bummer.

MAC:  Yeah, I know! Good thing I came prepared. [short pause] What was with the junkie chick?

DENNIS:  See, I made this bet with Frank that I'd bang someone on the flight before him. And unfortunately, the only proper candidate is happily married and uninterested, so I had to resort to lowering my standards.

MAC:  Right . . . So you gonna lose the bet?

DENNIS:  I seriously doubt anyone will sleep with Frank, so not technically. But I’d love to rub it in his fat face that I got what he couldn't, y’know?

MAC:  Sure, yeah . . . But you can't, cause no one besides that junkie up there wants to bang you.

DENNIS:  [clenches his jaw] What?

MAC:  You said it yourself, man: there're no options left. Frank’s gonna win or at the very least it'll come to a draw.

DENNIS:  No, no. I am going to win. Dennis Reynolds never loses.

MAC:  I just don’t see how—

DENNIS:  Mac, shut up and listen, okay? Listen to me. Do you want Frank to win? Do you want him parading around the bar, boasting about how he managed to best me? That he’s become a member of the Mile High Club and I haven't?

MAC:  I don't really care, dude—

DENNIS:  So you don't care that Frank’ll hold this over my head for weeks? You're not willing to help me out of a jam? I thought we were blood brothers! You wouldn't let your blood brother down now, would you?

MAC:  What do you suggest I do then? I can't make chicks appear out of thin air, Den!

DENNIS:  ‘Spose not, no . . . But you could get past your unbearable homophobia for ten or so minutes, maybe fifteen.

MAC:  [leans forward, whispering with a concerned expression] Are you saying you’re gay . . . ?

DENNIS:  No! What? No! Just— Look, Mac, baby . . . I'm offering something I know you want. And because it's more of a favor than anything else, it's with no strings attached. Just let yourself go for a while. Let your hair down, y’know?

MAC:  I— What?

DENNIS:  [visibly frustrated] Fucking unbelievable.

[To get his point across as quickly as possible, then, DENNIS grabs MAC’s jaw and pulls him in for a kiss. MAC makes a small surprised sound at the forwardness of the act, but just as DENNIS’d predicted (and subconsciously hoped for), MAC’s eyes flutter shut and he tilts his head to get a better angle a second later. DENNIS sighs contently into the kiss at MAC’s lack of protest and licks a long stripe across MAC’s front teeth. MAC opens his mouth wider at the request to let DENNIS nip and suck at his bottom lip. DENNIS slips his tongue into MAC’s warm mouth and MAC moans softly as DENNIS practically pets his tongue with his own.

MAC’s hands find their way to DENNIS’ jutting hip bones and he rubs light circles into the soft skin there, running his tongue along DENNIS’ almost urgently. DENNIS smirks at MAC’s blatant arousal and threads his fingers through MAC’s belt loops, pulling him closer. MAC lets out an incredibly lewd groan when his hard-on bumps into DENNIS’, and he slides his hands underneath the hem of DENNIS’ white v-neck, raking his nails up and down the shifting muscles of DENNIS’ back. DENNIS arches into the rough touch, letting out a low growl, and ducks his head into the crook of MAC’s flushed neck.

DENNIS peppers chaste kisses and quick bites along the curve of MAC’s throat, stopping momentarily to suck a bright red mark onto the sharp line of MAC’s jaw. MAC whimpers at the pain and digs his fingers into DENNIS’ shoulders. He’s a mess at this point; rutting against DENNIS like a fucking teenager and mumbling incoherently between shaky breaths. DENNIS leans back a moment later with half-lidded eyes and a sultry smile to murmur _"on your knees,"_ and MAC, knowing he can't leave his best buddy hanging (and that coming in his pants just from dry humping is totally lame), obliges.

He drops to his knees and tentatively traces his thumb along the curve of DENNIS’ bulge, watching DENNIS bite his lip in anticipation. He unbuttons and undoes the fly of DENNIS’ dark wash jeans, licking his lips nervously as he yanks DENNIS’ clothes down a bit more forcefully than a straight man just helping his friend out would. DENNIS’ cock bounces slightly at its new-found freedom and MAC wraps a hand around the base tentatively. He’s never blown someone before (not in any actual real terms; he’s dreamt of it more times than he’d confessed to over the years) and gives DENNIS a confused sort of look as he asks, _"how exactly do I do this?"_

DENNIS chuckles at the question and threads his fingers through MAC’s hair, gently tugging it loose from its slicked back state before mumbling “ _do what feels natural; I'll give you feedback,_ ” in a surprisingly hoarse voice. Did seeing MAC on his knees, asking with wide eyes and mussed hair how to suck his cock really turning him on this much? And when MAC finally licks a long stripe along the underside while keeping his gaze locked with DENNIS’, he can't help but think “ _shit, it is."_

MAC’s a fucking natural and it's both a turn on and a pain in the ass for DENNIS. He’s got a tight grip on the base of DENNIS’ dick and his tongue swirling around the head as he sucks, all while staring DENNIS straight in the eye with a light blush on his cheeks and an ironically innocent expression. He pulls off with an incredibly lewd pop a moment later to mouth along the side of the shaft, a hand wandering back to DENNIS’ hips, rubbing the line where DENNIS’ thigh ends and his stomach begins with the pad of his thumb. DENNIS is putty in MAC’s hands at this point and it's pissing him off. He can't decide whether to let MAC continue his thing, grab him by his hair and use his open mouth however he wants, or to push MAC backward onto the concrete and fuck him raw, making sure to catalogue each of his varying expressions as he makes him beg for more.

He eventually settles for placing his hand over MAC’s to halt his movements. MAC raises an eyebrow and before he can spew any sort of protest DENNIS is pushing him backward against a tall stack of luggage. MAC lets out a surprised huff, but lets DENNIS pin his hands behind his head and welcomes DENNIS’ mouth as it finds its way back to his.

DENNIS moves to litter MAC's flushed throat with quick bites and kisses as he slips a hand past the waistband of MAC's boxer-briefs. MAC throws his head back when DENNIS grabs his leaking cock and slides his hands past DENNIS' belt to grope at his hips and ass. A moment later DENNIS wraps his hand around both their dicks, groaning into MAC's neck as his spit-slick cock slides against MAC’s haphazardly.

MAC’s moaning DENNIS’ name with every rushed thrust as if it’s a lifeline and DENNIS can’t possibly ignore the fact that it’s turning him on more than he ever thought possible. He raises his head and looks MAC in the eye with blown pupils and a smirk on his lips. Their noses brush against each other lightly and MAC’s heavy breath is hot against DENNIS’ parted lips.]

DENNIS:  You’re doing so good for me, baby boy . . . I wanna hear you say how much you’re loving this—how much you love my cock . . . [punctuates his point with a particularly sharp thrust, making MAC gasp]

MAC:  [squeezing his eyes shut and struggling against DENNIS’ vice-like grip on his wrists] Den, please—

DENNIS:  If you say it, I’ll fuck you for real when we get back home however you want. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby?

MAC:  God— Fine! _Yes,_ I want this! I love this! I need you to fuck me!

DENNIS:  I'll make it so good for you, baby, just you wait. Now come for me.

[At the command, MAC’s body tenses and he moans wordlessly as the building pressure in his stomach finally unfurls, his eyes fluttering closed and his neck outstretched to let DENNIS suck and lick at his Adam’s apple throughout his release.

When MAC finally comes down from his high, he leans forward just enough to whisper _“Jesus fucking Christ, Den, you’re so good,”_ against the skin below DENNIS’ ear softly.

DENNIS’ own climax suddenly overtakes him then, paralyzing him as he groans _"you’re hell fucking right I am,"_ and covers MAC’s already soiled henley with even more cum. He lets his body go slack for a moment as he catches his breath and props himself up by leaning on his grinning friend. MAC wraps his arms around DENNIS’ lithe waist as buries his face in his neck as they ride the fading waves of their highs.

A minute later DENNIS pushes back to reach for the nearest suitcase, unzipping hurriedly and rummaging through it to find acceptable clothing to replace his and MAC’s soiled shirts. He pulls out a white crew-neck t-shirt (a size too big but he doesn’t care) and a worn black Metallica t-shirt, smirking to himself at their luck. He tosses the second at MAC, muttering  _“can’t go back up in that,"_ as he gestures to the drying stains on his and MAC’s shirts. MAC hesitates momentarily with a faint blush before pulling his shirt off and slipping the new (hopefully clean) one over his head. DENNIS counts the tallies on his dirty v-neck before tossing it and MAC’s henley into the suitcase full of beers MAC had brought.

DENNIS:  Ready to go?

MAC:  Hold on. [reaches into his pocket to pull out the sharpie and draws about two dozen tally marks on DENNIS’ shirtfront] Ready.

DENNIS:  [shifts his jaw in thought] I thought I was at twenty-eight.

MAC:  Fine. [draws another couple lines] Happy?

DENNIS:  [gives MAC a quick kiss and watches MAC try to hide a smile after he pulls away] Yeah, I actually am.

 

* * *

 

DEE:  What's with the new shirts? I don't remember packing anything.

MAC:  Shut up, Dee, you're drunk. We've been wearing these the entire time.

FRANK:  I'm pretty sure Dennis was wearing a v-neck like the rest of us, though—

DENNIS:  You sure, Frank? Cause I've been wearing this the whole time.

FRANK:  [clicks his tongue] My mistake, then. Still doesn't explain the marks on your neck and the blush on this guy. I mean seriously, Mac, you're redder than a commie.

MAC:  No—! No I'm not! It's just hot in here!

CHARLIE:  [walking up the aisle to join the conversation] Where've you two— [MAC and DENNIS turn to face him and CHARLIE gives them a quick onceover before realizing the situation] Ooooooh, okay.

DEE:  What?

CHARLIE:  [ignoring DEE’s question] Congrats on the sex, guys!

DEE:  Oh shit!

MAC:  [flustered] We— Dennis and I didn't— I'm not—

DENNIS:  [foregoing the conversation to question FRANK] You bag anyone yet?

FRANK:  No. So what?

DENNIS:  [smirk] I win.

MAC:  [throws his hands up] Seriously, dude? Is nothing private? Goddammit!

DENNIS:  Quit complaining and go grab a few beers for us, sweetheart.

MAC:  You’re an asshole, Dennis.

DENNIS:  And you love it.

[MAC turns to go retrieve an armful of beers from the galley with a frustrated huff and practically yelps when DENNIS slaps him on the ass. He keeps walking, fists balled at his sides, and pretends not to hear DEE and DENNIS chuckle at his reaction.]

DEE:  [when MAC’s out of sight] So are you two together now or . . ?

DENNIS:  [laughing to himself] Nah, it was just a favor between friends.

DEE:  You’re joking, right?

DENNIS:  Why? It was a simple business exchange; nothing more, nothing less. I don’t get why you’re so hung up on the dynamics, Dee.

DEE:  You two bang and you still think what you two have is strictly platonic?

DENNIS:  I don’t see what your point is.

DEE:  [clearly frustrated; exaggerated sigh] I swear to God—


End file.
